WORLD OF WILL

After the very cowboy orientated Tombstone, we drove north to Indian country where we came across places with names like Geronimo, Fort Apache and even Tonto National Forest! They don't seem to use the more PC title of Native Americans here – they very definitely call themselves Indians. Anyway, it was in Tonto Forest that we discovered the Tonto Natural Bridge, a massive open-ended cavern that is one of those places that just make you say "wow!" They let you clamber through it, over the rocks and along the river that runs inside it and so we leapt at the chance. On the way through the cave we came across a few large Americans who seemed to have bitten off more than they could chew. I tried to assist one ample girl who had chosen to do the route in Ugg boots but the combination of slippery rocks and her natural momentum meant she nearly knocked me into the icy water below. We left her whimpering with a nearby Park Ranger. Fort Apache was not so beautiful and certain...

We were driving from Yuma towards Tucson when we got stopped by a US Border Patrol officer. We are very near the Mexican border down here so we have seen hundreds of these patrols up and down the highway. Once this one had ascertained that we were neither Mexican nor illegal he seemed to lighten up a little and fancied a chat. He was perplexed as to why we were in this part of the country and not at the Grand Canyon or Las Vegas. "There ain't much to see down here," h e quipped. Oh, but there is... We got to Tucson and found ourselves a nice little spot in a proper trailer park where people actually live full-time. We met a guy there called John who had one arm, three teeth, a yellow beard and a poodle. He was very friendly and gave us lots of tips for things to do in the area, as well as sharing the very comprehensive list of nicknames he has for his dog. We didn't do everything on John's list (mainly because we couldn't understand all that he was saying)...

We landed in Los Angeles on a Virgin flight which we'd shared with pop starlet du jour Jessie J on her way to the Grammys . It was nice to see that even minor celebs can forget to fill out their immigration cards and be sent to the back of the queue! Anyway, because of one of America 's odd laws, we weren't allowed to pick up our hire van on the same day we landed which m eant we had to spend a night in a hotel first. We found a cheap motel near the airport that turned out to be one of those stereotypical 50s style motels with two storeys of rooms surrou nding a pool lined with palm trees. It really was just like you see in the movies . So beg a n our American adventure . The next day we pick ed up our van. Our server, Beth Ann, got us to sign some forms, gave us the keys and sent us on our way. Literally. There was no demo, no fuss, just "Have a gr ea t trip. See you in May!" We don't have GPS in this van, just a lot of small scale maps, ...