Loving Las Vegas
One of the delights of doing a road trip like this is stumbling across things that I didn't expect to see or that I simply never knew existed. One such place was the Petrified Forest, a remarkable area full of prehistoric trees that have turned to 
stone over zillions of years. It's an absolutely mind-curdling concept for me to get my poor little brain around but they are amazing and the colours of the crystallised rock are just beautiful. It's probably best to just observe and appreciate what you're seeing but not to think about it too hard – a bit like some of the dancing "girls" we saw in Asia.
From there we travelled along a bit of old Route 66. Some of the original old buildings next to what is now Interstate 40 are abandoned and run down but on the smaller roads and in some of the little towns we've been through, like Holbrook and Winslow, they really play up the whole nostalgia thing. It's great to see the old motels and diners – some still in use – with vintage cars parked up outside for added effect. One of my favourites was the
Wigwam Motel which must have been the inspiration for the "Cosy Cones Motel" in the movie Cars. It suddenly feels like a "proper" road trip when you can say you've driven down Route 66.
We ended up in Flagstaff for a couple of nights so decided to see what we could find in the way of nightlife. We were a bit bemused to be asked for ID before being allowed in any of the bars. Apparently it's a state law and while it was a bit flattering at first, it soon became quite irksome – especially when the doormen asking to see our ID were about half our age. When I pointed out to one that mathematically I could be his father, a look of worried confusion spread over his face as if he thought I was trying to insinuate that I might actually be his father. Unfortunately this doorstep version of The Jerry Springer Show still didn't garner us entry to his establishment. One place that would let us in was a sort of log cabin affair with a lot of stuffed animals hanging from the walls. It turned
out to be a country music bar and we had to endure a lot of identical-sounding songs that all seemed to be about broken hearts, dead dogs or the merits of driving a pick-up truck. On the plus side, the waitresses all wore little "Daisy Duke" denim shorts with calf-high cowboy boots. Half way through the evening a band took to the stage and seemed to play the exact same songs that we'd just been listening to. Seemingly oblivious to this, a few couples chose to grace the dancefloor and we were treated to some fairly flamboyant (and in some cases slightly camp) dance moves punctuated by the the occasional high-pitched whoop of excitement. At least I was able to drink through it.
The Americans seem to like giving their natural wonders some of the most literal and obvious names possible – as examples I offer you The Rocky Mountains or, my personal favourite, The Great Sandy Desert. Into this category of places with 
'say-what-you-see' titles, falls The Grand Canyon. There's no denying it, it's a canyon and it is grand. We went to see just how grand for ourselves this week, and the answer is 'very'. It's difficult to describe the sheer scale and magnificence of the thing (it's big) and the rock formations and colours are endlessly breathtaking. And if you think the views are breathtaking then you should try hiking down into the thing – I had no breath left at all! It was OK going into the canyon but the climb back up seemed to be a lot steeper than it had on the way down. We even saw a sweaty mule-train
that seemed to be struggling. The sun had been shining all day so we were fairly hot ourselves when we reached the top and we decided that the next day we should treat ourselves to a scenic flight over the canyon. What we hadn't expected was
to wake up the next morning to four inches of snow and visibility down to about 10 feet. It was unreasonably cold and the driving conditions were slippery and treacherous – not something you really want next to the world's biggest ditch. So, with our flight cancelled, we decided to head for somewhere warmer.
So where could we go that was fairly nearby, warm and fun? Hello Las Vegas. As you will no doubt have read a million times before, Vegas is a carnival of extravagance and expense, glitz and glamour, chintz and cheese – a 24-hour-a-day fun fest designed to separate you from your money. We walked through the streets of a faux Paris, along the canals of a fake Venice and past the skyscrapers of a not-really-New York. But what was just as entertaining were the people who inhabit "The Strip" itself. There are people dressed as Elvis or Marilyn, there are a weirdly high number of cartoon characters pretending to be drunk, there are robots, 
dancing girls and midgets. There are people handing you flyers for meal offers, vouchers for free show tickets or cards for call girls who can be in your room within 20 minutes. Even the tramps are entertaining.
And there is a lot you can do if you're on a tight budget like us. We stayed in a large room at The Flamingo, right in the middle of The Strip, because we'd found a deal that meant it was cheaper than staying in a campground. If you sit in the casinos playing (or even pretending to play) at the minimum bet tables, they bring you free drinks all day and all night. And the town is awash with money-off vouchers for meals so dining out is cheap. I really wanted to see comedy magicians Penn & Teller who had a show on at the Rio so we went to enquire as to how much the tickets
were, got given a 30% off voucher to use against them and then, when we said that it might still be a bit expensive for us, the girl at the box office gave us half off again because we were "so excited about seeing them!" We then got upgraded to better seats for no good reason and even got to meet Penn & Teller after the show! The next day we agreed to sit through a time-share presentation by a guy who patently knew we wouldn't be signing up and were just there to receive a free lunch and complimentary tickets to a show at Caesar's Palace. The show was called Absinthe, the tickets would have cost us $90 each 
and it was brilliant – lots of amazing acrobatic acts by sexy girls in burlesque-style lingerie, punctuated by one of the funniest and rudest comperes we've ever seen. And all for free. We had a great couple of days, managed to not go bankrupt and didn't hate it nearly as much as we thought we would.
The only unhappy part for me was when we decided to go to Fremont Street
to see the legendary original casinos – The Golden Nugget, The Pioneer with its famous giant neon cowboy and The Fremont itself. Sadly the whole street has now had a roof put over it and been turned into The Fremont Street Experience, a sort of cheap and tawdry pedestrianised theme park. The Pioneer is now a gift shop, the Golden Nugget has a Starbucks 
in it and you can now travel the whole street on an overhead zip-wire. It was heart-breaking to see and a world away from the high-gloss and glamour of the new mega-casinos. I would have loved to have seen Fremont Street in its heyday. It was time for us to leave Las Vegas and head back to reality.
BURGER OF THE WEEK
This was from the Paris Casino in Vegas and was inventively called "Le Paris". Prime beef burger, brie, caramelised onion, applewood smoked bacon, salad and half a gherkin on a sun-dried tomato bun. Could have done without the plum-sized olive nailed to the top of it though…
stone over zillions of years. It's an absolutely mind-curdling concept for me to get my poor little brain around but they are amazing and the colours of the crystallised rock are just beautiful. It's probably best to just observe and appreciate what you're seeing but not to think about it too hard – a bit like some of the dancing "girls" we saw in Asia.
From there we travelled along a bit of old Route 66. Some of the original old buildings next to what is now Interstate 40 are abandoned and run down but on the smaller roads and in some of the little towns we've been through, like Holbrook and Winslow, they really play up the whole nostalgia thing. It's great to see the old motels and diners – some still in use – with vintage cars parked up outside for added effect. One of my favourites was the
Wigwam Motel which must have been the inspiration for the "Cosy Cones Motel" in the movie Cars. It suddenly feels like a "proper" road trip when you can say you've driven down Route 66.We ended up in Flagstaff for a couple of nights so decided to see what we could find in the way of nightlife. We were a bit bemused to be asked for ID before being allowed in any of the bars. Apparently it's a state law and while it was a bit flattering at first, it soon became quite irksome – especially when the doormen asking to see our ID were about half our age. When I pointed out to one that mathematically I could be his father, a look of worried confusion spread over his face as if he thought I was trying to insinuate that I might actually be his father. Unfortunately this doorstep version of The Jerry Springer Show still didn't garner us entry to his establishment. One place that would let us in was a sort of log cabin affair with a lot of stuffed animals hanging from the walls. It turned
out to be a country music bar and we had to endure a lot of identical-sounding songs that all seemed to be about broken hearts, dead dogs or the merits of driving a pick-up truck. On the plus side, the waitresses all wore little "Daisy Duke" denim shorts with calf-high cowboy boots. Half way through the evening a band took to the stage and seemed to play the exact same songs that we'd just been listening to. Seemingly oblivious to this, a few couples chose to grace the dancefloor and we were treated to some fairly flamboyant (and in some cases slightly camp) dance moves punctuated by the the occasional high-pitched whoop of excitement. At least I was able to drink through it.
The Americans seem to like giving their natural wonders some of the most literal and obvious names possible – as examples I offer you The Rocky Mountains or, my personal favourite, The Great Sandy Desert. Into this category of places with 
'say-what-you-see' titles, falls The Grand Canyon. There's no denying it, it's a canyon and it is grand. We went to see just how grand for ourselves this week, and the answer is 'very'. It's difficult to describe the sheer scale and magnificence of the thing (it's big) and the rock formations and colours are endlessly breathtaking. And if you think the views are breathtaking then you should try hiking down into the thing – I had no breath left at all! It was OK going into the canyon but the climb back up seemed to be a lot steeper than it had on the way down. We even saw a sweaty mule-train
that seemed to be struggling. The sun had been shining all day so we were fairly hot ourselves when we reached the top and we decided that the next day we should treat ourselves to a scenic flight over the canyon. What we hadn't expected was
to wake up the next morning to four inches of snow and visibility down to about 10 feet. It was unreasonably cold and the driving conditions were slippery and treacherous – not something you really want next to the world's biggest ditch. So, with our flight cancelled, we decided to head for somewhere warmer. 
So where could we go that was fairly nearby, warm and fun? Hello Las Vegas. As you will no doubt have read a million times before, Vegas is a carnival of extravagance and expense, glitz and glamour, chintz and cheese – a 24-hour-a-day fun fest designed to separate you from your money. We walked through the streets of a faux Paris, along the canals of a fake Venice and past the skyscrapers of a not-really-New York. But what was just as entertaining were the people who inhabit "The Strip" itself. There are people dressed as Elvis or Marilyn, there are a weirdly high number of cartoon characters pretending to be drunk, there are robots, 
dancing girls and midgets. There are people handing you flyers for meal offers, vouchers for free show tickets or cards for call girls who can be in your room within 20 minutes. Even the tramps are entertaining. 
And there is a lot you can do if you're on a tight budget like us. We stayed in a large room at The Flamingo, right in the middle of The Strip, because we'd found a deal that meant it was cheaper than staying in a campground. If you sit in the casinos playing (or even pretending to play) at the minimum bet tables, they bring you free drinks all day and all night. And the town is awash with money-off vouchers for meals so dining out is cheap. I really wanted to see comedy magicians Penn & Teller who had a show on at the Rio so we went to enquire as to how much the tickets
were, got given a 30% off voucher to use against them and then, when we said that it might still be a bit expensive for us, the girl at the box office gave us half off again because we were "so excited about seeing them!" We then got upgraded to better seats for no good reason and even got to meet Penn & Teller after the show! The next day we agreed to sit through a time-share presentation by a guy who patently knew we wouldn't be signing up and were just there to receive a free lunch and complimentary tickets to a show at Caesar's Palace. The show was called Absinthe, the tickets would have cost us $90 each 
and it was brilliant – lots of amazing acrobatic acts by sexy girls in burlesque-style lingerie, punctuated by one of the funniest and rudest comperes we've ever seen. And all for free. We had a great couple of days, managed to not go bankrupt and didn't hate it nearly as much as we thought we would.The only unhappy part for me was when we decided to go to Fremont Street
to see the legendary original casinos – The Golden Nugget, The Pioneer with its famous giant neon cowboy and The Fremont itself. Sadly the whole street has now had a roof put over it and been turned into The Fremont Street Experience, a sort of cheap and tawdry pedestrianised theme park. The Pioneer is now a gift shop, the Golden Nugget has a Starbucks 
in it and you can now travel the whole street on an overhead zip-wire. It was heart-breaking to see and a world away from the high-gloss and glamour of the new mega-casinos. I would have loved to have seen Fremont Street in its heyday. It was time for us to leave Las Vegas and head back to reality. BURGER OF THE WEEK
This was from the Paris Casino in Vegas and was inventively called "Le Paris". Prime beef burger, brie, caramelised onion, applewood smoked bacon, salad and half a gherkin on a sun-dried tomato bun. Could have done without the plum-sized olive nailed to the top of it though…
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